The beauty of Hartbeespoort Dam
I was thinking how sometimes I get mad at the way my mind runs wild with thoughts, especially when I’m trying to be quiet so that God can have some input into my head and heart!
And yet despite its waywardness, my mind is a wonderful sanctuary where I have immense freedom to think my thoughts without any fear of judgment from others. I take encouragement too from the fact that I know God doesn’t ever judge me; rather he understands me. That is not to say God doesn’t let me know when what I am thinking is not life-giving and may lead me to a disappointing mess or dead-end.
Our minds are one of God’s gracious and generous gifts to us – He even allows us to be co-creators with Him using his resources and even letting us take the praise for our creations forgetting that we can only be co-creators with him. Co-creators of babies and skyscrapers, music and art, and a million other incredible inventions. Fortunately God has big shoulders and an even greater heart that celebrates our successes with us and humankind.
Not only that but God’s understanding and love can handle my negativity, my dark thoughts, my evil thoughts. It’s like bringing my darkness into his light. It’s no threat or big deal to God. I think God is as thrilled with my thinking as parents are about their child’s first makeshift sentence, even when it doesn’t make sense or is all muddled up. We are trying to communicate and that’s what relationships are all about whether with God or God in nature and humankind.
I am free to let my mind choose to revisit beautiful moments and places in my life … and in the lives of others. I can be anywhere I like – by the sea, in the mountains, with my deceased mother at any one of millions of moments we spent together, with my husband and children, my siblings and friends. What an amazing gift our minds are to wander, explore and think.
I also have the freedom to hold on to or to let go any memory I have. I can allow myself to revisit past unhappy, destructive events in my life that have wounded me, about which I am ashamed, that discourage me, etc., and decide what to do about them. To let them grow more rancid or to seek to find a way to turn them into something worthwhile in my life.
I have many such trophies in my life gotten with age, with reflection, with God’s grace transforming painful events in my life into becoming amazing and liberating lessons in my life. Some of these events I would not want to relive so sad and hurtful were they, but they are experiences I would not wish away because of what they have taught me.
There is often little we can do about past events other than how we think about them. They can pull us down into dark thoughts or we can choose to see them as our teachers, shrouded gifts of grace tempered by God’s ever present love. We can live in the shadows they bring into our lives as when our backs are to the sun. Or we can turn them towards the light and find in them some ray of hope and worthwhileness
There is a silver lining to all the dark clouds in our lives, sometimes we see it quickly others times it takes a long time, lots of searching, lots of forgiveness, sometimes it eludes us, but I believe as the a scripture says, God collects our tears be they the result of good or bad in our lives and uses them as balm to our wounds whether we realize it or not, accept his ministrations or not.
Believing these things are the privileges I have as a creation of God who gave me a mind to choose how I want to think about yesterdays’ experiences and to choose how I want to allow God to turn all things into good for me and others, today and into the future.